Opportunities in Aging
Yesterday, he called me to ask a favour, which was to buy some snacks for him from the supermarket. After I got the snacks, I went to his door to deliver the snacks to him.
I rang the doorbell, and waited a few minutes. There was no response.
I rang again, and again, there was no response.
So I rang again, twice. And again, there was no response. I started to worry: after all, he’s in his 90s, and living entirely by himself. Could he have fallen down? What happened?
Suddenly my phone was buzzing, and I saw that Uncle DC was trying to call me. I tried to pick up the phone, but he had hung up.
So I rang the door bell again. And then I heard a distant voice, saying Wait.
OK, I said. Wait…. wait….. wait…….coming……… i’m coming……. i’m coming………
OK! Take your time! I’m here. Take your time Uncle DC! I shouted. But it seemed that he didn’t hear me, because he just kept repeating the same thing: wait…… wait….. i’m coming…… i’m coming….
Finally, after a few more minutes, he opened the door. His dog started barking, and I could see her in the back of the living room, barking a little nervously at me, this stranger.
And I saw Uncle DC for the first time. He’s about 1.6m tall, hunched, quite skinny, with dark rimmed glasses and longish dark hair that looked a bit like Aaron Kwok in the 90s. He was wearing a dark brown shirt and shorts, with a walking stick as he shuffled slowly. He was quite tired and out of breath, and the first thing he said after opening the door was Aiyoh, CJ, I called you so many times but you never picked up! Aiyo, I cannot ask you to help lah, like that…. you youngsters, you don’t know what I’m going through, if I can’t get you, then I can’t ask you to help, you’re too busy, I can’t ask you to help.
The thing that struck me when the door opened, was the overpowering smell of old cabbage and musty newspapers and cardboard, as well as this sour smell. It’s a stereotypical 老人味 (old person smell). While I tried my best to maintain my composure, a little part of my stomach tightened and was revolted.
I apologised for the miscommunication, but told him that I was here to deliver the snacks he asked me to buy. He asked next how much is it? And I told him quite honestly that I had lost the receipt accidentally: I had stuffed it into the shopping bag, and… Aiyo CJ, you clearly don’t pay attention to details, how can I ask you to help me? I tell you, I am not begging for your help, I am not going to accept it if you don’t accept money. But how can you lose the receipt? Like that I cannot ask you to help me, you are not reliable.
I clarified that I was just going to accept $10 for the five packets of snack he asked me to buy (Khong Guan Lemon Puffs) How can? $10 not enough! If you don’t accept money I won’t accept it… I tell you, it is more than $10. I have $12 here, take it. And I will give you more, take it.
He had told me before that he was almost entirely blind; this turned out to be true in our subsequent interaction below.
He handed over coins How much is that? Ok take this. This is $1 right? No? Fifty cents? Ok take this also. How much I’ve given you already? You’ve given me $2.90 so far…$2.90?? I gave you $12 just now right? How can you say I gave you $2.90?? Uncle DC, I didn’t finish: I was going to say that you gave me $2.90 so far IN COINS…. Aiyo CJ you talk also not clear, say until like that! OK take this also and he shoved a whole lot of coins at me.
And I asked him to open the door so that I could pass him the biscuits. As he mumbled something and shuffled away, I was counting the handful of coins he had passed to me. When I finished counting, I heard him mumbling in the house Where is my key? Is my key in the gate?
Yes, Uncle DC, it’s here.
Aiyo why didn’t you tell me earlier? You make me walk all the way into the house…. you cannot help me, you cannot help me… you don’t understand how hard it is for me, young man… I tried to explain to him that I was counting the many coins he had shoved at me, but like most elderly people, he just went on at full steam without listening. And after opening the door to get his biscuits, he basically just closed the door after saying that he cannot ask me for help again.
Quite clearly, he has some limitations with the IADLs (instrumental activities of daily living) including shopping and housekeeping. There’s also a possibility he might need help with showering (a key ADL, or activity of daily living). Part of this is that elderly have a much weakened sense of smell, and often do not know that there is a bad odour at all. Sadly, it probably contributes hugely to the social isolation that the elderly have, especially from the younger folks (who would be more sensitive to smell) So augmenting the elders’ sense of smell might reduce their social isolation.
The other aspect of augmentation, was to augment his sight. He couldn’t count, and I had no intention of cheating him. But it would have been so easy for someone else to do so, because he was effectively blind…. sigh.
There was also no way for him to let visitors of his home know that he was on the way to open the door. So for a visitor (like me), I had no idea if I should stay waiting, or if I should sound an alarm, or call him, or whatever.
From the above, I wonder if there are two possible opportunities (both in the realm of Universal Design, which is why I’m reading the book pictured above):
What if we can create a way to let visitors know that the elderly resident has heard them and is on the way to the door?
- Corollary – what are the safety and security implications for the elderly?
What if we can create a way to let an elderly person know that there is a smell, and that they then need to clean or wash up more?
More broadly,
- What if we can augment an elderly person’s senses to maintain their ability to live independently, safely and socially integrated?
Feedback or comments?